Have You Tried England?

It wasn’t long ago that premarital sex was punished with death; bustards were forced to live outside the community, and homosexuals would be burnt alive in the village square.

But this is not contemporary England, in which teenage sex and pregnancy is part of our school curriculum, same sex relationships are encouraged, and adultery is natural part of life.

So with traditional marriage being only one of many life-choices, why is bigamy still a crime, and what did Judge Mushhaq Khokar mean when he told a convicted bigamist that she had ‘undermined the institute of marriage’?

Isn’t it time that the court will stop interfering with the way we choose to live?

I was happy to learn that my hard earned tax money does not only go to improve the swimming pools of our MPS, or to pay for nice funerals for the ex-troops in Afghanistan, but also to produce educational material, for our 13 and above school children, that promotes masturbation:

Health promotion experts advocate five portions of fruit and veg a day and 30 minutes’ physical activity three times a week. What about sex or masturbation twice a week?

So while our students fail internationally at math and physics, we can be sure that the new skillset will make them better equipped for the challenging increased competition for desired unemployed positions.

As a late starter myself, I wish they had taught me the skill at such a young age. I could have been so much better at it in my adult life.

Today was the first time I saw a British newspaper mentioning what is normally considered a taboo in the UK: the toppling of the Iranian democracy by the British in 1953.

Mosaddeq, the democratically elected prime minister, was a threat to British hegemony over Iranian oil. As a result, the British government of the time manipulated the Americans to believe that Mosaddeq was a communist supporter. Together with the Americans, the British organised a coup that outset Mosaddeq from power, destroyed the newly established democracy, and planted the seeds for the Muslim revolution that turned Iran into a fundamentalist state.

Just in case you like blaming the Americans for their doings...

‘The terrible toll won’t stop us’ said the foreign secretary …

‘We will fight to the last soldier, or until we discover what our objectives might be, whichever comes first’ added another insignificant MP. ‘After all, we have already lost our benefits, we are about to lose the election, so there is nothing for us to lose.’

The Prime Minister said the campaign in Afghanistan was a "patriotic duty" to keep the streets of Britain safe from the threat of terrorist attack.

And I say, can someone give him a map?

In recent weeks, there has been a great deal of outcry about the Royal family spending tax payers’ money on flights, parties, renovations and whatever.

This must not be confused with the MPs expense scandals. After all, while elected MPs should be responsible and accountable, the Royal family is simply there with no responsibility or accountability. And with such a mandate, what other money do you expect them to spend?

The real questions we must ask ourselves are:

1. how much we are willing to give them?
2. what is that we want in return to paying for their lavish lifestyle?

But really, what right to exist does the Royal family have at all? What has it contributed?

They are so insignificant that they don’t even deserve a revolution. All we need to do is cut their money supply and they are gone. Will anyone really miss them, or even notice if they are gone?

Maybe by getting rid of them England will break its obsession with the past, and start looking into the future. A future that – unless things change drastically – will lead it in the footstep of all other great past-empires. Turkey was the one preceding us.

Once freedom advocates agreed to let our teachers wear this outfit in the classroom (including in Muslim schools)

I would support their pledge to allow this outfit for our teachers

For a long time I could be nothing but negative about the English system: about the government and MPs who don’t care, and let the once-great country deteriorate: from education to health, from crime to transportation. But most of all I was negative about the English public that remains silent and uninvolved despite being treated so badly. Public who use the right to remain silence, rather than exercise their democratic rights and obligation and express their views and dissatisfaction.

But all this has now changed.

Now we know that the entire political system is corrupt. Now we know that most politicians care about themselves, and use us, the people, to take care of their own pockets. But this was no surprise. We have known it all along. Only now we have a proof.

But now, unlike most other times, the free media is fulfilling its role as the guardian of democracy. Now the public is waking up, and politicians have nowhere to hide.

Unlike most other times, this time we didn’t buy into their excuses, fake regrets, or meaningless apologetic gestures. This time the media and the public demand justice. And the way that thing progress, there will be justice.

Democracy is not about getting things right; it’s about changing them when they go wrong.

So whatever happens next, we must make sure that transparency, accountability, and most of all free speech and media remain part of the English culture. This is the only safeguard we have, and neither anti-terrorist laws, nor any other ill conceived policies should limit this right. This is something we must always fight for.

This is a great moment in English democracy. Let’s make sure that neither the public nor the media give up. Things can be much better – but only if we cared.

The other day, I complained about some issues at my daughter’s school. To my great amazement I was told that as I was only a guest in this country I should be thankful that my daughter was allowed to attend schools in the first place, and that I should not be allowed to make any complaints whatsoever.

So just to clarify

In my business, I employ English people and give them jobs
As my business gets revenue from overseas, it brings money to the UK
I spend my earnings here
I pay all my taxes in the UK

So in short, I give the UK much more than I take from it, and much more than many native UKians do.

I never asked for a preferential treatment. But if you want to treat me differently, just remember that I am not a guest here. I am a paying customer.

The greedy bankers did nothing wrong. They merely followed the rules, laws of regulations, and crushed our economy. It was their greed that gallant Brown vowed to crash; all greed but his and his peers’. They will be spared his wrath.

Transparency, splendid Gordon promised us, when he first discovered that nobody really knows what companies did. But then he sent his knights to fight anyone who will expose the illness of his system.

For a self-confessed intelligent, he is just smart enough to know his herd. To know that he – regardless of what he does – will get away with it.

So let us all go to the green fields to masticate together. Our shepherd is safe.