Have You Tried England?

It’s heart worming to see that the Gallant Mr. Brown feels that those who abuse the expense system should apologies. I really think it’s a sever punishment, and I feel that not only tax-evaders should apologies, rather than go to court, but also traffic police should start sending demands for apology rather than tickets. That will teach us all a lesson in good citizenship.

And to a nearly completely different matter (no worms this time), I am glad to see that the house has ensured that such unpleasant incidents will never happen again. From now on, MPs will be allowed a few days to edit their receipts before they become public.

It’s already clear that they’ll be allowed to delete the vendor name (no more porn, you see) and the date, but I suspect that they will also be permitted to edit the amount. Why not? After all, they make the laws, so it can’t be illegal.

Accountability and transparency, this is what the head of our gang has promised to legislate into our post-credit-crisis economy. I am glad to see that in his own house he does not practice what he is preaching. For a moment I got worried.

Why is everyone so upset that Jacqui Smith used tax payers’ money to rent porn videos? After all, don’t we all want her healthy and cheerful? Maybe then she’ll start doing some proper work. As an honest person she won’t be charging overtime for watching these movies, would she?

Instead of paying back the money, as she’s offered, she should give the videos to those who paid for them, and make it public. It’s our right, as good tax paying citizens, to know what turn on those we put in power.

If I ever tried to claim porn on company expense, I would be escorted out, without even giving me a chance to clean my desk, so I am trying to imagine how someone can mistake his (or her in this case) porn expenses as official expenses. I think that the conclusion is obvious; she simply claims ALL her receipts indiscriminately.

It’s sickening to hear that whenever any of our gangsters is caught claiming benefits for something that a normal person would be jailed for, they claim that they didn’t break any law. Of course they didn’t – they make the laws. This is exactly what a corrupt government is, a government that makes the rules for the benefit of the government.

It’s corrupt, it’s immoral but it’s legal, and we call it democracy. England seems to have deteriorated from a role model of democracy to a corrupt regime, whose only role is to protect itself. I suggest that we send our gang to Nigeria, where I am sure that they will learn some new legal corruption tricks.

If we are very lucky they may stay there, and I don’t mind if in palaces or in a stew.

What is the purpose of the bidet in the men toilet in the BA lounge in Heathrow T5?

We can’t not admire the Muslim brotherhood and feel the hurt Muslim when other Muslims are killed by non Muslims. We appreciate that Muslims want to keep the exclusive right for killing each other uninterrupted, and are jealous of others killing Muslims.

After all, more Muslims are killed by Muslim than by any other religion.

We appreciate the fact that Islam cares for the poor, but must also acknowledge that many Muslim countries are on the verge of financial collapse, and need help from the West to survive. Alternatively they resort to non-Muslim practices, like growing drugs or piracy.

We wonder how it can be that Islam’s care for the poor has not eliminated poverty even in those privileged countries where God spreads money in the streets.

We understand the outrage of those Muslim in England that feel that their kids are not safe in our streets, and yet we would not like to take Pakistan, Afghanistan, Sudan or Somalia as our role model for safety.

We also know that rape is a horrible crime. It’s far too common here, and not punished severely enough as our distorted system cares for the aggressor more than for the victim. But I don’t believe that sentencing to death women who got raped is the solution.

If you have ever read my blog you know that I am the first to admit that many things in England suck and that things are getting worse. But they suck because our freedom is being eroded, because we have become corrupt, because we have lost appreciation for education, because we are rapidly becoming like those Muslim countries – a model we must avoid at any cost.

I have nothing against the Muslim religion or Muslim people. I have read the Korean and learnt about the great things that Muslim brought to us and should be proud of: medicine, mathematics, astronomy. We should all be thankful for those achievements, and I wish that these were the things the Muslim world would claim credit for. But I have a lot against hypocrites. And there is no other word to describe those who use our freedom to this freedom away.

The death of a young mother is always a tragedy, for her friends, family, and most of all for her kids.

And yet, should we idolise a person whose only contribution was to demonstrate to the ignorant, uneducated, and racists that their flaws can make them famous; that their flaws is what this country likes?

What is the message conveyed to our children when the prime minister himself pays tribute to a person whose very fame and success mocks our effort to educate our children and teach them values?

Should our flags be flying at half mast?

As sad as a death of a young mother is, this is of no national interest whatsoever. Unless, of course, Brown needs reality shows to devise his policies.

It certainly seems so.

Our airports are covered with ads tempting us, the travellers, to put our money in the Intercontinental Bank of Nigeria. At first it seems a crazy idea, why would anyone in his (or her) right mind (or mindess) choose to risk his (or hers) money in Nigeria, when he (or she) can choose to lose it in our own banks.

Giving it a second thought, however, I came to realise that so far Nigerian banks have been safer, and far less corrupt than our own. So why don’t we learn something from their banking practices. After all, the way we are rolling, it won’t be long before Nigeria will become a roll model for us.

As Gordon the Magnificent seems to have an infinite source of new unrelated ideas, I start to suspect that he uses tax payer’s money to purchase one for those computerised random policy generators.

The latest of his policies is to half-train failed bankers to become half competent failed teachers. And I say that as one year training seems to yield failed education, why not simply do away with teacher training altogether.

Alternatively, we may also want to encourage early-released prisoners to take teaching jobs. After all, these guys sure know about life.

By the way, does anyone know what happened to the elimination of prostitution policy?

Prisoners released early from jail have been paid in compensation for losing free board and lodging.

To improve the policy, why don’t we cancel jails altogether, and instead have our courts pay criminals for the time they will not be put in jail?

Or even better, why don’t we cancel the judicial system altogether, and have the police (now wearing new red uniform with big white beard) hand cash directly to criminals – cash for not being sent to jail, and cash for eliminating the court system, and saving tax payers money.

This can also be followed by cancelling the police as well. Instead we can put boxes full of money in the street; boxes which only criminals would be allowed to take money from. We can be sure that non-criminals will never touch the money, as it will be forbidden by law.

My daughter was doing her homework and needed some help with math. They are learning to draw frequency graphs. The work itself is quite brainless and automatic, and you don’t really need to understand the questions to answer them correctly.

Still, as a person who believes that problems need to be understood before you try to solve them (unlike what my daughter is taught), I did my best to understand what they meant, but got quite perplexed by the question:

Mark on the graph how many times a group of people visited the shop in January?
1,7,20, ……

To me, the question makes no sense whatsoever (we answered it correctly though; it’s the new do your homework on the computer learning) But what does it really mean?