tag:funnyuk.blog.co.uk,2009-11-21:/Trying to settle in England with a family? Welcome to a new civilisation, a new (or very old in fact) ways of doing things, and lots of frustration. Yet, it's all worth it in the end, if you ever reach the end and especially if you can afford it, because if you thought you knew what expensive meant, you have not tried London yet. This blog is my personal experience settling here, and I hope you, the new settler, will find at least some of it interesting if not useful.MokoFeed2009-11-21T00:04:33+01:00tag:funnyuk.blog.co.uk,2009-07-29:/2009/07/29/a-bigamist-received-a-ten-month-suspended-prison-term-6614693/ranfuchs2009-07-29T23:31:07+02:002009-07-29T23:31:07+02:00 <p>It wasn’t long ago that premarital sex was punished with death; bustards were forced to live outside the community, and homosexuals would be burnt alive in the village square. </p> <p>But this is not contemporary England, in which teenage sex and pregnancy is part of our school curriculum, same sex relationships are encouraged, and adultery is natural part of life. </p> <p>So with traditional marriage being only one of many life-choices, why is bigamy still a crime, and what did Judge Mushhaq Khokar mean when he told a convicted bigamist that she had ‘undermined the institute of marriage’? </p> <p>Isn’t it time that the court will stop interfering with the way we choose to live?</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://FunnyUK.blog.co.uk/2009/07/29/a-bigamist-received-a-ten-month-suspended-prison-term-6614693/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:funnyuk.blog.co.uk,2009-07-14:/2009/07/14/masturbation-classes-6510362/ranfuchs2009-07-14T07:14:31+02:002009-07-14T07:15:42+02:00 <p>I was happy to learn that my hard earned tax money does not only go to improve the swimming pools of our MPS, or to pay for nice funerals for the ex-troops in Afghanistan, but also to produce educational material, for our 13 and above school children, that promotes masturbation:</p> <blockquote><p>Health promotion experts advocate five portions of fruit and veg a day and 30 minutes’ physical activity three times a week. What about sex or masturbation twice a week? </p></blockquote> <p>So while our students fail internationally at math and physics, we can be sure that the new skillset will make them better equipped for the challenging increased competition for desired unemployed positions.</p> <p>As a late starter myself, I wish they had taught me the skill at such a young age. I could have been so much better at it in my adult life. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://FunnyUK.blog.co.uk/2009/07/14/masturbation-classes-6510362/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:funnyuk.blog.co.uk,2009-07-13:/2009/07/14/high-moral-ground-6509699/ranfuchs2009-07-14T00:58:14+02:002009-07-14T00:58:14+02:00 <p>Today was the first time I saw a British newspaper mentioning what is normally considered a taboo in the UK: the toppling of the Iranian democracy by the British in 1953.</p> <p>Mosaddeq, the democratically elected prime minister, was a threat to British hegemony over Iranian oil. As a result, the British government of the time manipulated the Americans to believe that Mosaddeq was a communist supporter. Together with the Americans, the British organised a coup that outset Mosaddeq from power, destroyed the newly established democracy, and planted the seeds for the Muslim revolution that turned Iran into a fundamentalist state.</p> <p>Just in case you like blaming the Americans for their doings... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://FunnyUK.blog.co.uk/2009/07/14/high-moral-ground-6509699/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:funnyuk.blog.co.uk,2009-07-13:/2009/07/13/ministers-vow-to-continue-afghanistan-attack-6508597/ranfuchs2009-07-13T22:09:06+02:002009-07-13T22:09:06+02:00 <p>‘The terrible toll won’t stop us’ said the foreign secretary …</p> <p>‘We will fight to the last soldier, or until we discover what our objectives might be, whichever comes first’ added another insignificant MP. ‘After all, we have already lost our benefits, we are about to lose the election, so there is nothing for us to lose.’</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://FunnyUK.blog.co.uk/2009/07/13/ministers-vow-to-continue-afghanistan-attack-6508597/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:funnyuk.blog.co.uk,2009-07-12:/2009/07/12/afghanistan-campaign-is-our-patriotic-duty-6497138/ranfuchs2009-07-12T14:28:07+02:002009-07-12T14:28:07+02:00 <p>The Prime Minister said the campaign in Afghanistan was a "patriotic duty" to keep the streets of Britain safe from the threat of terrorist attack.</p> <p>And I say, can someone give him a map?</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://FunnyUK.blog.co.uk/2009/07/12/afghanistan-campaign-is-our-patriotic-duty-6497138/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:funnyuk.blog.co.uk,2009-07-05:/2009/07/05/the-queen-and-tax-money-6452904/ranfuchs2009-07-05T13:42:00+02:002009-07-05T13:42:00+02:00 <p>In recent weeks, there has been a great deal of outcry about the Royal family spending tax payers’ money on flights, parties, renovations and whatever.</p> <p>This must not be confused with the MPs expense scandals. After all, while elected MPs should be responsible and accountable, the Royal family is simply there with no responsibility or accountability. And with such a mandate, what other money do you expect them to spend? </p> <p>The real questions we must ask ourselves are: </p> <p>1. how much we are willing to give them?<br> 2. what is that we want in return to paying for their lavish lifestyle?</p> <p>But really, what right to exist does the Royal family have at all? What has it contributed? </p> <p>They are so insignificant that they don’t even deserve a revolution. All we need to do is cut their money supply and they are gone. Will anyone really miss them, or even notice if they are gone? </p> <p>Maybe by getting rid of them England will break its obsession with the past, and start looking into the future. A future that – unless things change drastically – will lead it in the footstep of all other great past-empires. Turkey was the one preceding us. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://FunnyUK.blog.co.uk/2009/07/05/the-queen-and-tax-money-6452904/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:funnyuk.blog.co.uk,2009-07-05:/2009/07/05/a-muslim-teacher-in-a-veil-was-barred-from-a-catholic-school-6452549/ranfuchs2009-07-05T12:18:25+02:002009-07-05T12:19:13+02:00 <p>Once freedom advocates agreed to let our teachers wear this outfit in the classroom (including in Muslim schools)</p> <p><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_phK9eTb7Txw/SiH_IJiSHFI/AAAAAAAAAUw/2HOpDS5syxs/s320/bikini.jpeg" alt="bikini" title="bikini"></p> <p>I would support their pledge to allow this outfit for our teachers</p> <p><img src="http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2006/10/azmiPA_228x327.jpg" alt="veil" title="veil"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://FunnyUK.blog.co.uk/2009/07/05/a-muslim-teacher-in-a-veil-was-barred-from-a-catholic-school-6452549/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:funnyuk.blog.co.uk,2009-05-17:/2009/05/17/a-great-moment-for-english-democracy-6129350/ranfuchs2009-05-17T14:29:50+02:002009-05-17T14:29:50+02:00 <p>For a long time I could be nothing but negative about the English system: about the government and MPs who don’t care, and let the once-great country deteriorate: from education to health, from crime to transportation. But most of all I was negative about the English public that remains silent and uninvolved despite being treated so badly. Public who use the right to remain silence, rather than exercise their democratic rights and obligation and express their views and dissatisfaction.</p> <p>But all this has now changed. </p> <p>Now we know that the entire political system is corrupt. Now we know that most politicians care about themselves, and use us, the people, to take care of their own pockets. But this was no surprise. We have known it all along. Only now we have a proof. </p> <p>But now, unlike most other times, the free media is fulfilling its role as the guardian of democracy. Now the public is waking up, and politicians have nowhere to hide.</p> <p>Unlike most other times, this time we didn’t buy into their excuses, fake regrets, or meaningless apologetic gestures. This time the media and the public demand justice. And the way that thing progress, there will be justice. </p> <p>Democracy is not about getting things right; it’s about changing them when they go wrong. </p> <p>So whatever happens next, we must make sure that transparency, accountability, and most of all free speech and media remain part of the English culture. This is the only safeguard we have, and neither anti-terrorist laws, nor any other ill conceived policies should limit this right. This is something we must always fight for.</p> <p>This is a great moment in English democracy. Let’s make sure that neither the public nor the media give up. Things can be much better – but only if we cared.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://FunnyUK.blog.co.uk/2009/05/17/a-great-moment-for-english-democracy-6129350/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:funnyuk.blog.co.uk,2009-05-17:/2009/05/17/i-am-not-a-guest-here-6128693/ranfuchs2009-05-17T11:55:57+02:002009-05-17T11:55:57+02:00 <p>The other day, I complained about some issues at my daughter’s school. To my great amazement I was told that as I was only a guest in this country I should be thankful that my daughter was allowed to attend schools in the first place, and that I should not be allowed to make any complaints whatsoever.</p> <p>So just to clarify</p> <p>In my business, I employ English people and give them jobs<br> As my business gets revenue from overseas, it brings money to the UK<br> I spend my earnings here<br> I pay all my taxes in the UK</p> <p>So in short, I give the UK much more than I take from it, and much more than many native UKians do. </p> <p>I never asked for a preferential treatment. But if you want to treat me differently, just remember that I am not a guest here. I am a paying customer. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://FunnyUK.blog.co.uk/2009/05/17/i-am-not-a-guest-here-6128693/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:funnyuk.blog.co.uk,2009-05-12:/2009/05/12/greed-for-masticators-6105444/ranfuchs2009-05-12T22:57:13+02:002009-05-12T22:57:13+02:00 <p>The greedy bankers did nothing wrong. They merely followed the rules, laws of regulations, and crushed our economy. It was their greed that gallant Brown vowed to crash; all greed but his and his peers’. They will be spared his wrath.</p> <p>Transparency, splendid Gordon promised us, when he first discovered that nobody really knows what companies did. But then he sent his knights to fight anyone who will expose the illness of his system.</p> <p>For a self-confessed intelligent, he is just smart enough to know his herd. To know that he – regardless of what he does – will get away with it. </p> <p>So let us all go to the green fields to masticate together. Our shepherd is safe. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://FunnyUK.blog.co.uk/2009/05/12/greed-for-masticators-6105444/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:funnyuk.blog.co.uk,2009-05-03:/2009/05/03/kids-in-the-uk-6053143/ranfuchs2009-05-03T23:27:13+02:002009-05-03T23:27:13+02:00 <blockquote><p>A table of young people's wellbeing in 29 European states - the EU plus Norway and Iceland - has ranked the UK 24th</p> <p>The Netherlands was top while only Romania, Bulgaria, Latvia, Lithuania and Malta came lower than the UK.</p></blockquote> <p>Not that you can rely on surveys without full understanding how they were conducted and what they really measured. But this survey confirms my own personal experience: UK is not a good place for kids. </p> <p>As a non-English I wonder if it’s something new, if it was it better in the past, or has it always been like that?</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://FunnyUK.blog.co.uk/2009/05/03/kids-in-the-uk-6053143/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:funnyuk.blog.co.uk,2009-05-03:/2009/05/03/bluebells-6051987/ranfuchs2009-05-03T19:30:21+02:002009-05-03T19:30:21+02:00 <p>Happy children<br> Cheerfully playing<br> On a sunny day<br> Turning bluebell carpets<br> Into purple pulp</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://FunnyUK.blog.co.uk/2009/05/03/bluebells-6051987/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:funnyuk.blog.co.uk,2009-04-26:/2009/04/26/priceless-6010134/ranfuchs2009-04-26T14:05:40+02:002009-04-26T14:05:40+02:00 <p>Things are bad<br> And getting worse<br> Economy is falling<br> Government is failing us<br> Complaining is a national pastime<br> (well after all we hate taking action)<br> Yes some things are still priceless<br> Enjoy</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://FunnyUK.blog.co.uk/2009/04/26/priceless-6010134/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:funnyuk.blog.co.uk,2009-04-18:/2009/04/18/whistle-blowers-5966865/ranfuchs2009-04-18T19:02:14+02:002009-04-18T19:02:14+02:00 <p>Whistle blower harassment. We may be glad to know that we are not the only ones. But the story below demonstrates the potential consequence of <a href="http://funnyuk.blog.co.uk/2009/04/17/transparency-and-accountability-5962714/">victimising the messenger</a>.</p> <p>In late 2006, Hazel Bell, a science teacher at the school at Clarenza, Australia, went to deputy principal David Johnston and the board with concerns about Bailey, who became principal in 2005.</p> <p>Mrs. Bell was concerned at Bailey's inappropriate behaviour with female students. </p> <p>Her warning went unchecked by the Education Department, the Department of Community Services and police from the child protection unit, and within two weeks of making the complaint she was made redundant.</p> <p>In March, Bailey, 43, pleaded guilty to five counts drugging and multiple rape, and sexual intercourse with a person in his care.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://FunnyUK.blog.co.uk/2009/04/18/whistle-blowers-5966865/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:funnyuk.blog.co.uk,2009-04-18:/2009/04/18/if-you-are-considering-selling-property-but-worried-about-hip-cost-5965220/ranfuchs2009-04-18T12:32:02+02:002009-04-18T12:33:12+02:00 <p>I have never before ‘advertised’ anything or anyone here. But I do feel that <a href="http://davidw2007.blog.co.uk/2009/04/18/are-you-considering-selling-a-property-but-worried-about-home-reports-5965003/comment_ID/9683291/comment_level/1/#c9683299">davidjohn’s initiative</a> is most welcomed in these credit crisis times. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://FunnyUK.blog.co.uk/2009/04/18/if-you-are-considering-selling-property-but-worried-about-hip-cost-5965220/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:funnyuk.blog.co.uk,2009-04-17:/2009/04/17/transparency-and-accountability-5962714/ranfuchs2009-04-17T21:14:34+02:002009-04-17T21:14:34+02:00 <p>While only recently Mr. Brown uttered some words about the need of increasing transparency and accountability in our economy, the government still does not reveal the discussion prior the Iraq war, not their expenses. Failed bankers still get bonuses and salary increases, and a nurse and a teacher have been charged for exposing substandard practices in their hospital and school respectively. </p> <p>Words are cheap Mr. Brown, so why do you avoid them when they are needed, and use them when action is needed?</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://FunnyUK.blog.co.uk/2009/04/17/transparency-and-accountability-5962714/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:funnyuk.blog.co.uk,2009-04-17:/2009/04/17/no-u-turn-allowed-5962612/ranfuchs2009-04-17T20:53:52+02:002009-04-17T20:53:52+02:00 <p>A man was detained after taking photos of a police driving a car recklessly across a public park, instead of parking and investigating things on foot, as required. This is just another warning sign of the sneaking change our society is undergoing.</p> <p>I was once told by a sociologist that U-turn road signs tell you a lot about the society you live in. In some countries you are not allowed to U-turn unless the road sign indicates you are permitted. In others, you are allowed to U-Turn anywhere, unless a sign specifically prohibits it. </p> <p>England has been considered the second type of society. All was permitted unless specifically disallowed. This, however, is changing rapidly with the draconian implementation of Human Right and Health and Safety regulations seasoned with some anti-terrorism practices. Now it seems that everything you do can be used against you, unless specifically permitted. </p> <p>Once this trend has put into motion, it’s difficult to U-turn. Is <i>U-Turn allowed here</i> society where YOU want to live? </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://FunnyUK.blog.co.uk/2009/04/17/no-u-turn-allowed-5962612/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:funnyuk.blog.co.uk,2009-04-14:/2009/04/15/equal-education-for-everyone-5945857/ranfuchs2009-04-15T00:25:26+02:002009-04-15T00:25:26+02:00 <p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/image011/3412400" title="image011"><img src="http://data5.blog.de/media/400/3412400_7eb0264f3b_m.gif" alt="image011" vspace="5" hspace="5"></a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://FunnyUK.blog.co.uk/2009/04/15/equal-education-for-everyone-5945857/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:funnyuk.blog.co.uk,2009-04-12:/2009/04/12/educational-advice-5931759/ranfuchs2009-04-12T18:15:34+02:002009-04-12T18:15:34+02:00 <p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/image016/3403960" title="image016"><img src="http://data5.blog.de/media/960/3403960_8c5a1b54d8_m.jpg" alt="image016" vspace="5" hspace="5"></a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://FunnyUK.blog.co.uk/2009/04/12/educational-advice-5931759/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:funnyuk.blog.co.uk,2009-04-05:/2009/04/05/who-needs-math-5893243/ranfuchs2009-04-05T12:11:08+02:002009-04-05T12:11:08+02:00 <p>I went to the supermarket to buy cucumbers.<br> Don’t sneer, I sometimes do<br> It was 81p each<br> They also had a special<br> Two for £2.<br> I asked the seller if it wasn’t a mistake<br> He did not see the problem.<br> I did</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://FunnyUK.blog.co.uk/2009/04/05/who-needs-math-5893243/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:funnyuk.blog.co.uk,2009-04-02:/2009/04/02/obsolete-post-train-5875140/ranfuchs2009-04-02T01:06:21+02:002009-04-02T01:06:21+02:00 <p>Today it took me 3 hours to get home, instead of the ‘normal’ 45 minutes. It’s not only that the trains didn’t work properly, but the system, bombarding us with irrelevant messages, forgot to give us any useful indication what was going on. Nobody cared about passengers, only about their stats. </p> <p>Yesterday, I needed to settle some account issues in the post office. It took me over an hour. Had I done it in the bank it would have taken 15 minutes; had I done it over the net, it would have taken 5.</p> <p>Great institution that were once the pride of England, have never been updated to modern life and are now obsolete. Let them die.</p> <p>The king must die. Long live the king!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://FunnyUK.blog.co.uk/2009/04/02/obsolete-post-train-5875140/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:funnyuk.blog.co.uk,2009-03-31:/2009/03/31/no-more-porn-scandals-an-exercise-in-lateral-thinking-5868813/ranfuchs2009-03-31T23:17:46+02:002009-03-31T23:17:46+02:00 <p>It’s heart worming to see that the Gallant Mr. Brown feels that those who abuse the expense system should apologies. I really think it’s a sever punishment, and I feel that not only tax-evaders should apologies, rather than go to court, but also traffic police should start sending demands for apology rather than tickets. That will teach us all a lesson in good citizenship.</p> <p>And to a nearly completely different matter (no worms this time), I am glad to see that the house has ensured that such unpleasant incidents will never happen again. From now on, MPs will be allowed a few days to edit their receipts before they become public. </p> <p>It’s already clear that they’ll be allowed to delete the vendor name (no more porn, you see) and the date, but I suspect that they will also be permitted to edit the amount. Why not? After all, they make the laws, so it can’t be illegal.</p> <p>Accountability and transparency, this is what the head of our gang has promised to legislate into our post-credit-crisis economy. I am glad to see that in his own house he does not practice what he is preaching. For a moment I got worried. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://FunnyUK.blog.co.uk/2009/03/31/no-more-porn-scandals-an-exercise-in-lateral-thinking-5868813/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:funnyuk.blog.co.uk,2009-03-30:/2009/03/30/the-queen-of-porn-5862487/ranfuchs2009-03-30T23:49:29+02:002009-03-31T00:05:26+02:00 <p>Why is everyone so upset that Jacqui Smith used tax payers’ money to rent porn videos? After all, don’t we all want her healthy and cheerful? Maybe then she’ll start doing some proper work. As an honest person she won’t be charging overtime for watching these movies, would she? </p> <p>Instead of paying back the money, as she’s offered, she should give the videos to those who paid for them, and make it public. It’s our right, as good tax paying citizens, to know what turn on those we put in power.</p> <p>If I ever tried to claim porn on company expense, I would be escorted out, without even giving me a chance to clean my desk, so I am trying to imagine how someone can mistake his (or her in this case) porn expenses as official expenses. I think that the conclusion is obvious; she simply claims ALL her receipts indiscriminately.</p> <p>It’s sickening to hear that whenever any of our gangsters is caught claiming benefits for something that a normal person would be jailed for, they claim that they didn’t break any law. Of course they didn’t – they make the laws. This is exactly what a corrupt government is, a government that makes the rules for the benefit of the government.</p> <p>It’s corrupt, it’s immoral but it’s legal, and we call it democracy. England seems to have deteriorated from a role model of democracy to a corrupt regime, whose only role is to protect itself. I suggest that we send our gang to Nigeria, where I am sure that they will learn some new legal corruption tricks. </p> <p>If we are very lucky they may stay there, and I don’t mind if in palaces or in a stew. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://FunnyUK.blog.co.uk/2009/03/30/the-queen-of-porn-5862487/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:funnyuk.blog.co.uk,2009-03-25:/2009/03/25/a-puzzle-5823800/ranfuchs2009-03-25T01:36:46+01:002009-03-25T01:36:46+01:00 <p>What is the purpose of the bidet in the men toilet in the BA lounge in Heathrow T5? </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://FunnyUK.blog.co.uk/2009/03/25/a-puzzle-5823800/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:funnyuk.blog.co.uk,2009-03-23:/2009/03/23/muslim-hate-preachers-and-the-uk-5812197/ranfuchs2009-03-23T08:51:05+01:002009-03-23T09:09:43+01:00 <p>We can’t not admire the Muslim brotherhood and feel the hurt Muslim when other Muslims are killed by non Muslims. We appreciate that Muslims want to keep the exclusive right for killing each other uninterrupted, and are jealous of others killing Muslims. </p> <p>After all, more Muslims are killed by Muslim than by any other religion. </p> <p>We appreciate the fact that Islam cares for the poor, but must also acknowledge that many Muslim countries are on the verge of financial collapse, and need help from the West to survive. Alternatively they resort to non-Muslim practices, like growing drugs or piracy.</p> <p>We wonder how it can be that Islam’s care for the poor has not eliminated poverty even in those privileged countries where God spreads money in the streets.</p> <p>We understand the outrage of those Muslim in England that feel that their kids are not safe in our streets, and yet we would not like to take Pakistan, Afghanistan, Sudan or Somalia as our role model for safety.</p> <p>We also know that rape is a horrible crime. It’s far too common here, and not punished severely enough as our distorted system cares for the aggressor more than for the victim. But I don’t believe that sentencing to death women who got raped is the solution. </p> <p>If you have ever read my blog you know that I am the first to admit that many things in England suck and that things are getting worse. But they suck because our freedom is being eroded, because we have become corrupt, because we have lost appreciation for education, because we are rapidly becoming like those Muslim countries – a model we must avoid at any cost.</p> <p>I have nothing against the Muslim religion or Muslim people. I have read the Korean and learnt about the great things that Muslim brought to us and should be proud of: medicine, mathematics, astronomy. We should all be thankful for those achievements, and I wish that these were the things the Muslim world would claim credit for. But I have a lot against hypocrites. And there is no other word to describe those who use our freedom to this freedom away. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://FunnyUK.blog.co.uk/2009/03/23/muslim-hate-preachers-and-the-uk-5812197/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:funnyuk.blog.co.uk,2009-03-22:/2009/03/22/tribute-to-jade-goody-5809987/ranfuchs2009-03-22T21:28:46+01:002009-03-22T21:28:46+01:00 <p>The death of a young mother is always a tragedy, for her friends, family, and most of all for her kids. </p> <p>And yet, should we idolise a person whose only contribution was to demonstrate to the ignorant, uneducated, and racists that their flaws can make them famous; that their flaws is what this country likes?</p> <p>What is the message conveyed to our children when the prime minister himself pays tribute to a person whose very fame and success mocks our effort to educate our children and teach them values? </p> <p>Should our flags be flying at half mast?</p> <p>As sad as a death of a young mother is, this is of no national interest whatsoever. Unless, of course, Brown needs reality shows to devise his policies. </p> <p>It certainly seems so.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://FunnyUK.blog.co.uk/2009/03/22/tribute-to-jade-goody-5809987/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:funnyuk.blog.co.uk,2009-03-21:/2009/03/21/putting-my-money-in-lagos-5803423/ranfuchs2009-03-21T19:52:41+01:002009-03-21T19:52:41+01:00 <p>Our airports are covered with ads tempting us, the travellers, to put our money in the <i>Intercontinental Bank</i> of Nigeria. At first it seems a crazy idea, why would anyone in his (or her) right mind (or mindess) choose to risk his (or hers) money in Nigeria, when he (or she) can choose to lose it in our own banks.</p> <p>Giving it a second thought, however, I came to realise that so far Nigerian banks have been safer, and far less corrupt than our own. So why don’t we learn something from their banking practices. After all, the way we are rolling, it won’t be long before Nigeria will become a roll model for us.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://FunnyUK.blog.co.uk/2009/03/21/putting-my-money-in-lagos-5803423/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:funnyuk.blog.co.uk,2009-03-10:/2009/03/10/not-another-policy-5731545/ranfuchs2009-03-10T18:32:09+01:002009-03-10T18:35:02+01:00 <p>As Gordon the Magnificent seems to have an infinite source of new unrelated ideas, I start to suspect that he uses tax payer’s money to purchase one for those computerised random policy generators. </p> <p>The latest of his policies is to half-train failed bankers to become half competent failed teachers. And I say that as one year training seems to yield failed education, why not simply do away with teacher training altogether. </p> <p>Alternatively, we may also want to encourage <a href="http://funnyuk.blog.co.uk/2009/03/09/do-you-trust-your-government-5727016/">early-released prisoners </a>to take teaching jobs. After all, these guys sure know about life. </p> <p>By the way, does anyone know what happened to the <a href="http://funnyuk.blog.co.uk/2008/11/20/end-of-prostitution-please-not-another-creative-solution-5065879/">elimination of prostitution policy</a>?</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://FunnyUK.blog.co.uk/2009/03/10/not-another-policy-5731545/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:funnyuk.blog.co.uk,2009-03-09:/2009/03/09/do-you-trust-your-government-5727016/ranfuchs2009-03-09T23:31:22+01:002009-03-09T23:31:22+01:00 <blockquote><p>Prisoners released early from jail have been paid in compensation for losing free board and lodging. </p></blockquote> <p>To improve the policy, why don’t we cancel jails altogether, and instead have our courts pay criminals for the time they will not be put in jail? </p> <p>Or even better, why don’t we cancel the judicial system altogether, and have the police (now wearing new red uniform with big white beard) hand cash directly to criminals – cash for not being sent to jail, and cash for eliminating the court system, and saving tax payers money. </p> <p>This can also be followed by cancelling the police as well. Instead we can put boxes full of money in the street; boxes which only criminals would be allowed to take money from. We can be sure that non-criminals will never touch the money, as it will be forbidden by law. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://FunnyUK.blog.co.uk/2009/03/09/do-you-trust-your-government-5727016/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:funnyuk.blog.co.uk,2009-03-08:/2009/03/08/help-i-can-t-do-school-math-5718541/ranfuchs2009-03-08T20:13:43+01:002009-03-08T20:13:43+01:00 <p>My daughter was doing her homework and needed some help with math. They are learning to draw frequency graphs. The work itself is quite brainless and automatic, and you don’t really need to understand the questions to answer them correctly. </p> <p>Still, as a person who believes that problems need to be understood before you try to solve them (unlike what my daughter is taught), I did my best to understand what they meant, but got quite perplexed by the question:</p> <p><i>Mark on the graph how many times a group of people visited the shop in January?<br> 1,7,20, …… </i></p> <p>To me, the question makes no sense whatsoever (we answered it correctly though; it’s the new do your homework on the computer learning) But what does it really mean? </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://FunnyUK.blog.co.uk/2009/03/08/help-i-can-t-do-school-math-5718541/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>